I always said that I would make mistakes. I'm only human, and that's my saving grace

Finally saw Brüno last night. Sacha Baron Cohen is a sick sick man but I love it. Fantastiche!
And the night in with my fave proved wonderfully succesful.
Films. Food. Friends. Perfect.
Staying up til 6am and watching children's tv before eventually dragging ourselves up to bed.
Then waking up at half 3 and gorging ourselves on Maccy Ds.
This is the life!

I'm also still obsessed with the book I just read. And having finished it I feel like my best friend's just started ignoring my calls.

By nature I am not very deep, so I rely on books and music and very occasionally art to make me think about stuff more. Anyway, Chuck has an interesting theory on love, and it makes me think...
"There are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occured. The person is real, and the feelings are real - but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
This book is better than emo.

You see, I always thought I won.
Because out of that experience I realised what love wasn't supposed to be.
Drama is exciting. But no one wants to be excited all the time. The most retarded thing about the whole saga was that the un-named didn't want to be with me properly. Sneaking around, stolen glances and secret make-out sessions were all he needed. This alone doesn't sound retarded, but is when you take into account the fact that he said those immortal three words after mere months. This idea that he didn't want me properly but at the same time required some hold over me. Something I've encountered several times since, guess I just know how to pick em. He was wrong and also of the opinion that he was too good for me. Another hugely untrue 'fact'. I know now that I deserve better than that. I cannot deny that this shaped my idea of love.

Another reason I won is that out of that came, after some rough times, an even stronger relationship with my closest friend. I never want to go through that again and will never put anyone or anything before her again. On top of that, I would have made the best girlfriend ever. He, on the other hand, will always just be a mediocre shag with no substance.

I love books, they make me think of stuff that would never have occured to me.