Reach out and touch faith

I don't often talk about religion. But after an interesting discussion with an agnostic friend of mine, I thought I might give it a go.

My father was a Buddhist, my mother Church of England and from the ages of 5 - 11, I attended a Catholic school. So you can only imagine how conflicting certain religious ideologies were to me as a child. At home we had little fat man statues scattered about the place which I'd look at whilst being taught songs about meeting Jesus at the crossroads. Daily masses took up most of the school day and, looking back, I have little memory of learning anything in that place that wasn't depicted in one of the gospels. Yet since leaving, I could probably count the number of times I have been to church on the fingers of one hand. As I once quite infamously said to my mother, I was 'all religion-ed out'. My religious affliations took a back burner. Growing up took a precedent.

From a very early age I always thought that it was possible to be highly religious without going to church. My child-like mind thought of those literally unable to attend regular services, those in hospital or in war torn countries. Surely God wouldn't just cast these people aside? If God truly is the all-knowing, all-loving presence we're led to believe then wouldn't he/she want to embrace all those with faith; regardless of how often they go to mass. That we shouldn't have to prove our devotion through ritualistic actions. This idea was supported by my mother who still, to this day, maintains that our faith is no lesser than those who choose to go to church every week; we simply chose our own home as our church.

This leads me to an area I feel extremely passionately about. My greatest pet hate. Organised religion and the commercialisation of worship. TV evangelists are not 'endorsed' by the big man upstairs. They have no special 'connection'. They're nothing more than con men, praying on the vulnerable. Ironically, the polar opposite of the teachings they claim to be preaching. And religious groups who moan about dwindling numbers make my blood boil. Membership. Do they think Jesus is somehow impressed by voter turnout? That God gives preference to religions that appear especially popular? It's not like God only allocates federal funding to religious organisations that meet a quota.

To be perfectly honest, I don't really think there's much of a place for 'traditional' religions in modern society. Everywhere we look today we are bombarded by lustful visions and endless temptations. All things that'll lead you straight to hell, apparently. I must say though I have the utmost respect for people who do manage to live a holy existence and abstain from all temptations in this day and age. This has to be a hundred times harder than it would have ever have been at any other point in history. But even so, I couldn't bring myself to follow these examples in my own life. I drink, I curse, I listen to offensive rock music, I lust after the opposite sex and I am guilty of numerous 'sins of the flesh'. In the mind of a religious fanatic I am bound for eternal damnation. But to the majority of the population I am, quite simply, normal. Nothing particularly spectacular or punishable. And I can't help being this way; it's how our generation have been programmed to be. I haven't gone out of my way to break the rules. The rules just don't really fit my lifestyle.

I would like to say, though, that I would like to think all is not lost for me. I still have extremely strong beliefs and opinions. My own unique brand of faith, if you will. I think that it is very important to have something to believe in. Whatever that something may be. For me, I like to think there's more to life than simply what we see on this earth. I'm not talking about anything as absolute or set in stone as 'heaven' and 'hell', but something. This is an opinion I was surprised to find I share with my aforementioned friend. I guess this ideology is easier to uphold than a traditional one as it is more abstract. There are no rules. The details will differ from person to person. We're not talking about a big man with a long beard sitting on a cloud but it's comforting to imagine something. Even if we are unsure what that something is, the mere fact of having something to believe in is incredibly rewarding.

I also believe very strongly in fate and destiny. With a slight human twist. That there is some powerful force guiding us through life but that, ultimately, it is our individual choices that determine the end result. Fate can lead you somewhere but it's up to you what you do when you get there. Apparently this is quite a Buddhist way of thinking. Thank you Father.

So, to try and finish this unbelievably long-winded ramble, I'll conclude by just saying this:
I think that religion, as with most things, needn't be so restrictive. People should be able to decide how, when and if they choose to worship for themselves. We shouldn't have to mold ourselves to try and fit into a box. When asked if I am religious, I simply reply that I have faith. When asked to tick a box, I choose 'other'. I am not un-religious, and as I've stated I do agree with certain religious views, I just have not found any of the five major religions to be perfectly suited to me. And I don't feel I should have to compromise or sacrifice. I have my own religion. I am my own priest.
My own God, as it were.